It's hot. Sooooo hot. I have a knife and a watermelon but very little energy.
I think I'll get in the car and go to Ikea instead, the substitute grandparent who provides babysitting, feeding and design inspiration, but most importantly central air conditioning. Maybe I'll bring my computer and some DVDs. They won't notice us huddled in the back corner by the dog bowls watching Phinneus and Ferb, will they? If they do, it'll make for good footage, maybe as good as the Ikea cats.
"Frantic mom clings to faux Swedish Ficus as police remove her from Ikea after 9 hours of 'shopping' in the plant section while sitting in a beanbag. Mom begs, "Please understand: Our other option was the McDonald's Playland!" Watch Fox News at 10 for the full story. "