
Every dang year I picture myself as this benevolent, loving mamacita, gently guiding her children into crafting a beautiful ginger bread house. And every freaking year I forget that I ever so carefully load the messy icing into the plastic bag and prematurely congratulate myself and Juniorette for successfully completing the messy difficult part. What I forget is that I go to make a frosting door or window and end up backsqueezing it so the whole damn thing of icing goes sailing out the bag onto my hand, arm, table and floor.

And then I swear loudly, causing each kid to charge me $1, much to their delight. So, a happy Christmas project now has me fuming at the kitchen sink, cleaning all the sticky icing off, while the kids are down on their knees wrestling each other while licking the frosting off the floor until I come in and announce that they need to GET OFF THE FLOOR NOW. We try again, this time with the lesson imprinted in my mind (seal the end, seal the end.) The giggles (even mine) return and we have a great time finishing the house. At least it didn't collapse in on itself this year - that would have cost me at least $5 in bad words. We ran short of candy since we ate every second piece or so, which was part of the fun.

They were instructed not to eat the house until Christmas Eve, yet when I went to take pictures of it this morning, it seems something had happened to the back, which I guess I wasn't supposed to notice. It's like the gingerbread equivalent of stripping copper pipe from abandoned houses. So Pink, next year remember that the bag backfires if it's not sealed properly and the kids are going to eat part of the house no matter how many times you tell them it's for decoration (yeah, right - decoration. Good one, Pink.) Nevertheless, I suggest this activity to most of you who probably don't get fined for saying bad words because you don't ever say them, and you have all the right attachments and clamps for pastry bags. You guys just go right ahead since your kids probably don't lick frosting off the floor, either.