A Cruise Ship Photopoem

Husband is presenting at a conference this week. I found out last Friday that he was leaving. "Where are you going?"

I don't know...Florida

Well, where in Florida?

I don't know...The Middle. 

He's now thinking that I'm thinking, "Glad I'm not gonna be stuck in Sponge Bob Land." The psychology of Husband is so predictable, yet I fall for it every time. 

Sunday I found out that this is "The Middle". No wonder he was vague. The proverbial doghouse is getting an addition.

Well Husband, we had dinner on a cruise ship in Providence last night, which was located in the kids'bedroom. We had multiple courses, just like you probably did.  If anyone says, Yes but your husband had dinner at the Four Seasons Palm Beach so you totally suck I will feel sad. It won't stop me from writing cliched yet ironical poems, however. Ever since this guy stole my idea I just want to write poems.

A Cruise Ship in a Small Apartment in Providence -  A Photopoem by Pink

Tonight we're going on a cruise

There's an open bar so mommy gets booze

Kiddos get to eat upstairs 

Please try to avoid all cat hairs

As you know there's a very big storm

Better snuggle in bed

And get very warm

There are snacks and drinks for all first mates

Tedious meals mommy just hates

So here are some artichokes

Eat them on the floor

Dining at the table is such a bore!

When the waves die down

You can have some carrots

Then Edamame

And wine for mommy!

Greek yogurt sundaes

With clementines and honey

All this adventure for so little money.

We all laughed and had some fun

Now some stories and the cruise is done

It's time for sleep, ahoy you rogues

Now mommy can retire and read her Vogues.

(And be pissed off that she isn't at the Four Seasons Palm Beach.)

Comments

[rainydaymuse]

Fantastic. Will have me giggling all day. Should be part of a book called "Pink and the art of Parenting" Think of all those people missing out on your humor and talent. (Kudos on not having a daddy dummy who has to repeatedly walk the plank during the "cruise")

[Mise]

If you get to visit me this summer, I will create the full Four Seasons Palm Beach experience in your honour. Cocktails, food you never heard of, two thousand thread Egyptian cotton sheets, the whole lot all in Connemara. Husband will be sorry he's stuck in Dublin then.

[casapinka]

If Daddy had BEEN here he would have been walking the plank,I think. That said, he def. will be when he returns. And the tickets to Ireland have been purchased. It's not IF i go to connemara for 10,000 thread count sheets, it's when. Must find out possible dates.
There once was a place called Connemara
The food there was oh such a horra.
Just kidding, I know it will be GREAT. I'm so excited!